Lez postin for Chibi
CHIBI MOVED
Update your links por favor ^.~*
Um...yeah thas all I had to say.
GHOST LOVES TOKI-CHU
H.O.T Forever -Yakuza 012-
jane posting for chibi unni *^^*
If I were a stone, I would be a... star saphire [had it for my school ring]
If I were a tree, I would be a... weeping willow
If I were a bird, I would be a... peregrine falcon
If I were an insect, I would be a... praying mantis
If I were a machine, I would be a... car - not sure what kind, just being a hooked up prelude sounds nice enuf, i can be happy wid a prelude... lolz let's go all the way and ima be a nice nsx. [hahahaha lolz]
If I were a tool, I would be a... hoe? LOL jk.. i'd be a rake so that when u step on me, ima stand back up n smack u in the face LOL...
If I were a fruit, I would be a... lansones, i love that fruit.. grows in the philippines.. mmm..
If I were a flower, I would be a... lily or orchid
If I were a kind of weather, I would be a... dark sky, with snow lightly falling on the already snow covered ground... XD n the only lights are the xmas lights on pplz houses n the street lamps..
If I were a mythical creature, I would be a... vampire! *high 5's kara* i dun think they're too mythical tho... so maybe.. a siren?
If I were a musical instrument, I would be a... violin
If I were a kind of profession, I would be a... jun jin's wife. LOL.. um, i'd be an ambassador to another country, or an interpretor in D.C. or something..
If I were an animal, I would be a... cheetah or siberian tiger. my 2 fave animals.. wee..
If I were anything in the world, I would be... [kenken and kara's answer is nice, endless blue sky] but.. hmm.. i'd be.. rain. bc it falls n then goes back up to the sky n falls again, n it can be light rain, hail, snow, etc... [i was gonna say junjin's towel but yah haha]
If I were a color, I would be... blue
If I were a fragrance, I would be... Banana Republic's Classic.
If I were an emotion, I would be... high-kind of happiness, giddy?
If I were a feeling, I would be... excitement/surprise, i'm getting confused between feeling and emotion
If I were a vegetable, I would be... carrot, orange is a good color :D
If I were a sound, I would be... running water or rain [nothing like faucets or toilets -_-;;]
If I were an Element, I would be... water
If I were any movie star, I would be... yah angelina jolie is way cool..
If I were a holiday, I would be... new year's. time to be refreshed, everyone gets kissed, misteltoe, celebration that a year has passed and another will come........ i love new year's.
i got that survey from kara's blog hehe... man, i need to blog so badly but like, i can't log onto my blog thru my computer -_-;; mebbe i should consider using greymatter cuz pitas didn't answer my question AT ALL. -_-;;; and so much drama going on over here, i needed to vent but now i'm ok.. still.. i will explain everything later.
jin
i miss jin, my baby-honey :( i feel like i haven't held him in my arms for the longest time... even though u know that u haven't held him at ALL in yur life. i still feel like i have, and it's been a while.. :T i feel like crying bc i long for him and love him and miss him so much
a lil bored... and yah..
i am happiest when: i'm on a hyper sugar-but-i-had-no-sugar high... imagining yaoi, i'd love to watch sunnie suck face with mikey [altho i'd rather see tonhyuk]
i feel lonely when: when my close friends aren't here to know that i really am sad or mad, cuz yano that's how u know when someone really knows u, when they can see through everything
the ideal relationship would be: carefree n full of love, no jealousy n no mistrust n etc....
what makes you cry?: seeing other pplz sorrows, n seeing truly beautiful things
introvert or extrovert?: mainly extrovert, if i'm introvert i prolly have something on my mind or isn't feeling that energetic
do you think too much?: sometimes, depends on what.
if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?: a whole floor in an apartment complex [a tall building... something like where hyde lives] with jin in my bed. hahaha
famous person you would like to meet: i'd like to meet jin in real life, not just in my dreams :)
do you believe in organized religion: in some ways yes, in some ways no. i think ppl in this world need religion
pro-life or pro-choice: pro-life
are you a vegetarian: i love veggies but not THAT much
do you support the death penalty?: nope
do angels or demons exist: yep
what would you most like to be doing right now: animal sex with jin....... watching toki n jia get it on is only 2nd to that.
do you have any regrets: no. [lez i don't hehe] sex or love: I'm a big fan of sex, but love (I believe) should be forever. Sex can be a passing fancy. <-- lez's answer n mine too...... hey i have a story i have to tell u guys later~
favorite scent: banana republic's classic, Ralph Lauren's new scent that i forgot what is, Surface, 1212 (i think? it's what yusuke wears, it smells nice), fresh air, mmmm filipino food! hahaha.....
what REALLY makes you mad?: ignorant ppl, stuck up ppl, ... so far i haven't gotten mad to the highest level yet, i believe i can get worse.
favorite way to waste time: being online or chilling in yusuke n andy's room doing NOTHING
i'll finish this later... if you won $50,000,000 what would you do with it?: what is your best quality?: are you currently in love/lust: what's the craziest thing you have ever done: any bad habits: do you find it hard to trust people: do you ever doubt yourself: bath or shower: Showers. favorite season: what is your favorite flavor: what is your favorite time of day: gold or silver: silk sheets or cotton: any secret crushes: if you could be the opposite sex for one day, would you do it: what do you desire most in life: do you believe in destiny: is world peace attainable:
a lil bored... and yah..
Survey
the time is :: 7:30
im feeling :: dreamy, a lil lazy, somewhat heart-sick, yet giddy with hyperness all in 1
im thinking about :: my darling jin
last laugh was :: just now, i'm talking to lez hehe - and of course about raw toki x ghost shit. lolz.
im wearing :: white t-shirt n green addidas pants... it's karate time soon!
my hair is :: parted at the side, half up
my jewelry :: 2 bracelets on left, 1 on the right, a silver cross, 3 earrings
my nailpolish :: nada
my mouth contains :: lots of bacteria.. ewwwww! haha u all have it
the person last spoken to was :: yusuke, cuz i'm in his room hehe
the words last spoken were :: oh yeah [yusuke opened the door for me and he says, hey baby, here to see me? and we grab each other around the waist n i go, oh yeah~
my last food intake was at :: like an hour n a half ago~
what i ate was :: a cheddar burger n a variety of stuff
im listening to :: lee jung hyun's nuh
the last song i heard was :: max's always love
my last IM was from :: sophie
my last physical act :: typing?
my inbox contains :: which inbox are u talking about........ oH! email! haha...... email?
the time is :: 7:39
bwee bwee
actually now's not a good time to blog bc i'm incredibly bored right now. -_-;;; but anyway. choosuk wasn't this weekend, if it's happening at all. if it WAS today............... i didn't go lolz. i actually didn't see anybody except for family this weekend, which isn't so bad lol but i miss my dog so very much. :D my older bro aka tony went back to his apartment in philly tonight so it's just my parents and my younger bro right now ...... they're all asleep. i miss my fast net connection in my dorm room...... dl'ing this l'arc vdo is taking SOOOOOOOOOOO long. -_-;; i thought i was gonna catch up on my 36 moons reading today but...... no...... -_-;;; i didn't. i just spend like an hour and a half reading blogs and chillin here with no music on. :(
so what did i do all weekend? hmm mainly i was glued to my ps2, playing resident evil: code veronica X [my fave game series!] ... gahhh i'm so mad! i'm SO almost beating that game, except my bro took it back with him to philly so ... i kinda have to wait to see the ending .. maybe thanksgiving. pooey. they actually added a little bit of romance in this storyline, which of course is always a big plus to me, especially when the guy is kyoot. his voice is a little ehhhhhhhh but he's definitely a bish. he looks like he'd play guitar or something on a jrock band. and chris is back in the game! [non-gamers will have no clue] ... and he's cuter than ever. :D him n claire kept having these bro-sis moments, and i of course has to rub that into my bro's face. hehe. tonnnnnnyahh where are u.
um, other than that i've been piggin out like i've never seen food in so long. well, good food anyway. i miss homecooking n stuff like that, might as well take advantage of it right? i need to go shopping...... of COURSE i'll do it last minute like i always do. -_-;
my hair is all wavy n spiraly right now... it's actually getting a little annoying bc it's in my face. and i'm gonna stop blogging now cuz i'm just forcing it out since i have nothing else to do...... *sigh* my new blog will hopefully be done by next weekend, my brother somewhat started uploading it to his server, and he's putting up this other kind of thing, something like pitas, but i guess better? *shrug* anyway he's putting that in for me so that my blog won't be on pitas anymore and anythign i use will belong to that site, like graphix and the blog script. just earlier he was telling me how my html'ing and graphix were too big blah blah blah............. i don't care! lol. my screen is 1024 x 768 so the best viewing will be that, not 800x600 or whatever it is... XP i need to satufy my own eye hunger [which might explain the jin-theme yet again -_-;]
h.o.t.
i miss my oppa-deul! i miss tony, hyukie, wonnie, heejunie and yeah even kangta. seeing some pics of tony, hyukie, and wonnie together, all buddy-buddy and stuffz... made me all warm inside and made me just miss them so much. sigh, no wonder they're still my favorite korean group. for realz, they've always had this claim on my heart that no other group had - i guess they have this special bond with each other that attracts me towards them, i don't know. yeah, i miss tony, my korean brother on the other side of the world. i miss hyukie, my first crush that ended up being a kind of... dreamy kind of crush. like, the guy you think about being so great but like, u only look up to him and not in the way i think of being with jin. i miss those 2 the most, i think i miss tony most of all. and i can't exactly explain why. but yeah, this blog is about them~ i can't wait for heejun's album. n i heard he went on a diet and lost weight and shit - i can't wait to see his new look. i heard he cut his hair? O_o
heyy
hey everybody, long time no blog. actually i blogged accidentally on my old blog [chibicuddlz.pitas.com] but yeah... anyway... the new layout is *almost* done... i'm not finding any time to dedicate to it, but dun worry, it's almost there. hmmm what else... not doing as well as i'd like on my tests. i guess maybe if i stopped caring so much, MAYBE i'll do better [cuz that's the way it always is] ... anyway... lez bebz i love u!
friday night
in a way, i'm glad that i have a good handle on myself, self control, .............. hahahaha and i guess tolerance has a lot to do with shit like this. like, i know a lot of freshmen just go off to parties to get wasted n stuff, but i'm proud that i know my limit, and i know what i shouldn't cross n shit. altho i'm usually the young one of the group, i like to know that i have an important role.. watching out for ppl, having a good influence on ppl [when it counts] and etc... like if i wasn't with the ppl i was with tonight, mebbe things woulda been different. my friend soun prolly woulda had a harder time getting away from this one guy, my friend jess prolly would have stayed out blazin, andrew would still be in deep shit with pete if i didn't beg and say some stuff... i only regret that i didn't stay with mona long enough... she was having guy problems and turned to alcohol, yano? but yeah, blahness n junx, just add this to my list of experiences.
puhahaha
even tho i have 2 tests to study for, i'm online trying to catch up on my shinhwa stuff.... like... shinhwa babysitting. so i'm looking at captures of the shows and omg minjin is soooo cute ^__________^ they're all like... not knowing how to handle the lil baby girl.. too cute. and they both dunno how to cook -_-;;;;; funny funny ... too funny bwahahahahha XD i swear, jin will have to learn one day [n prolly minu too] bc me and linna will not want to cook for them :P
at least minu knows how to cook rice >_< i'd be ashamed if he didn't know how to cook rice, that's like... the easiest thing in the world. keekee... and jinnie made porridge for the baby. [awwwwww] well i think, i just saw him scooping it out.. who knows if he really made it? ... how can u put 2 guys who dunno how to cook, babysit? they're gonna end up poisoning the kids or suttin. and then jin tries to go feed the lil baby girl... sooo cute!! she doesn't like him so she's tryin to roll away but he picks her up n tries to calm her down by putting her on his shoulder!! AHHHH family man jin. i love that about him... even tho she don't like him, he won't give up *sigh*..awwww but eventually he has to give the baby to someone else bc it's not working >_< ... he looks so tired n stressed out!
ish okiee... things sorta worked out in the end... lol... wannie seems like he'd be a good dad. he's so fun and the girls love him -_-; not too surprising eh?> and they called eric oppa, but he was like, call me umma! that's sooo cute LOL... and then they pee with the door open. and wannie is all.. O_< hahahahha.. he's so cute ^_^ and so i left off with wannie and eric having to change the baby's diaper. LOL... weeeeeeeeee. can't wait til the next few captures. :) anyway i gotta go and stuff... byeeeeeeeeee
arrite...
i'm a dork. lolz. my new dorm # is (814) 862-5542 .
i dun wanna hear any more about this :P [since i messed up twice XP]
bwahhhhhh
lolz, my new blog layout will be up soon, i just gotta ... move into my new dorm room, study a bit and then i'll work on the graphics and stuffz lolz. yeahhhh... i'm slackin in my ancient greek lit class. stupid class, it's actually getting better bc we're actually talking about stuff, but i still don't like that class. i sit in the front and like, she looks me straight in the eye like i'm supposed to be intimidated, but i just keep lookin. thing is she ain't that nice lookin and like, i don't really like her that much... soooo i'd prefer if i didn't have to look at her.
yeah, but other than that i've been having fun here... i'll put the new blog layout up soon! by this weekend i hope.
chillin'
in yusuke and andy's dorm room. yeah, i was supposed to go to korean karate tonight, but i ended up not... cuz i jus ended up chillin here. i walked in and yusuke sed, yur jus gonna chill wid us right? so yeah, i'm not goin to karate and i'm gonna jus chill and do nothing.
we're listening to the counting crow's mr jones... omg i haven't listened to this song in so long! this guy jack just walked in, it's his birthday today. and it's yusuke's bday tomorrow. :) yeah, i think we're gonna leave soon.
hiragana
okie, i have a test tomorrow on this ish. man i feel like i've learned SO much in 2 weeks of classes... esp in japanese. we have to write sentences in hiragana now. ok, stupid thing. why do they have to use the character for "ha" when they're saying "wa" ........... can't they jux make it easier and use the wa character? mangz... well it's ok, i'm goin over yusuke's dorm in like 15 minutes so that he could help me.
i'm moving to my new dorm room tomorrow.. juz goin upstairs, so i'll give u all my new addy and phone # over the weekend.
sugoi!
wai!!!! it's so cute!! *glompz maki-chan* sooooooooo cute!!!.... well, yahhhhhhhh. dun worry janiee, other jini fans wouldn't dare touch me... i'm evil XD they're all scared of me.
actually knowing those korean fans, i'd prolly get scared of them O_o psycho....
GAHHH i think andy and andrew -_-;;; are so cute ^_^v
don't their names confuse u? haha.. ima have a pic of them soon.. i need to find .. a digital camera or suttin. i wanna show u some cuties over here. haha okiee, chris just showed up in the same computer lab.. he says hi altho i doubt he knows what the hell i'm talking about.
jus one thing
jinz hair. i actually didn't get mad... yano why? my friend dong ju, who came from guam, told me that he prolly had it shaved off cuz he prolly got called to go to the army soon. soo.. it's ok. besides, after i AM a filipino and um, what's the most common filipino hair style besides the spikey do... anyway.
pics of jin n others
janiee dongseng gave that to me.. so u all can see my hairless jin [sigh, remember how i just loved hair on guys, and jin has none... sigh sigh sigh] but yeah i'm not mad.
i miss my dongseng! *glomps jane* yeah i gotta go, byee!
been a while, lots to blog about
yea, it's been a while. i'm actually in a comp lab @ school... it's 9:30 sunday night and i should be doing some laundry, studying, etc. but yeah, i'm not and i might as well blog if i'm online. (limiting my time to a half hour)...
so anyway. what have i done in the past week @ penn state? well, i have 3 classes everyday... i walk about 20-30 minutes to class ... so i walk like mebbe 3 hrs a day. i take the bus to class in the morning bc i'm jux not awake yet. soooooooo... let's skip class and talk about ppl i've met.
there are my 2 roomates, trisha and clara. clara lived in england for like 10 years or something so she has an accent. trisha lived in georgia for a bit and then moved to pennsylvania... and well, i'm the NY/NJ girl who was born in the philippines XD i really like the ppl in my hall, esp my floor. they're all so nice n funny n stuff. i'm moving though, i'm going to another building with this girl keo i think, to a suite. i really don't have a choice since i was in supplemental housing (not permanent) so either i go into a smaller room or bigger room. bigger room i think. :P outside of that, i've met some other ppl, asians n stuff... some cuties ^_^;;;
there are these girls julie and jessica, both who are from my japanese class and both are korean. mona [krn] is here, and she introduced me to gary, a chinese guy. then there's chris, lana's friend that goes here, and yeah i mentioned him before. there's this girl soun [pronounced swan] and her friend dong ju. ok, so far all korean and 1 chinese kid. well, soun brought these 2 guys yusuke [japanese] and andy [chinese] ... n julie saw this guy she knew from back home so she brought into the group danny [krn].. who is friends with this guy andrew [chinese]. so basically... the ppl or crew that i hang out with now is julie, jessica, mona, soun, gary, chris, andy, yusuke, andrew, and danny. other ppl like sophie, huija, and peter aka fish hang out with us occasionally... but yeah.
when i first met yusuke i thought he was real cute, we even clicked. andy too [they're roomates]... but they live around the fort lee area, so they were friends with a lot of filipinos and knew places that i've been to and stuff.. pretty cool. us 3 listen to the kpop n jpop/jrock and .. andy listens to reggae! wee! ... and we even went to HIN at secaucus back in july.. lolz. pretty funny ^_^ anyway, the first night we all went out as a group we went to an asian frat/sorority party... n jessica, julie, and soun were all like, yusuke is sooooo cute n shit. so, i was like.. arrite.. i'm not liking u anymore XD lolz. but yeah, julie gave me a lap dance XP and me, julie, and soun all danced with yusuke at the same time. O_o it was fun though, yusuke was like... yeahhhh... LOLZ. then i was like, ok i need someone else to dance with. and andrew like came up behind me to dance, i was like. yayyyy. we talked for a bit after we sat down.. he's real nice n stuffz, and i personally think he's the cutest guy in the group. after that party i went back to andrew's dorm room, and we all jus chilled n talked, got to know each other i guess. [this is all friday night btw].
yesterday [saturday] i went to the KEWL picnic which is like a mentoring program that i signed up for. my mentor is jamelah, she's filipino too. soun was also there and yusuke was there too, so we chilled there. i had to wake up 9am too. ugh.. but yeah we had fun. i also met this girl Di there.. she's nice. the same sorority/frat had a pool party/bbq at the outdoor pool that afternoon so after the picnic we went. met up with andy and soun left to go to her dorm. i chilled with yusuke and andy for a while [yeah me and the guys again] and then i left cuz i wanted to go back to my room. on my way out i saw julie, dong ju and mona walking so we walked together to julie's room, and then chilled at my room for a while listening to some krn music, talking and watching some vdos. soun met up with us a bit later in my room, and then we went back to the pool party. yusuke and andy weren't there anymore.. but me and mona jus laid out n fell asleep under the sun, julie, dong ju and sophia went into the water. at around 6 mona, julie, and i went to eat @ the west halls where we saw andrew and danny [they live @ west]. dongju and sophie came after we were done cuz they went back to east to change. ... later that night we played pool [yeah i woulda won 3 out of 3 games if andrew didn't scratch the last ball... but it's ok.] won the first, scratched and lost the second, both of which i was on andrew's team. the 3rd game yusuke played wid me.. lolz he was like, i'll play wid u. XD weeee we won, and i played nice too. got the 8 ball in at this angle that i thought i couldn't do, but i did. XD lesseee.. after that we went to mona's to watch notting hill n order pizza in. i fell asleep throughout most of the movie. andrew was way too enthusiastic about the movie but lolz, i think he got tired of it too. weee andrew's cute tho, he's just way nice n sweet, n he's not even afraid to be buddy-buddy with me lolz. [i miss my buddies back at home!!!! i love u all!!!!!!] ..... and yusuke seems to not care to be buddies with me either, i think my tomboy nature is getting to everyone. andy is really nice too, he's always talking to me and like, when we walk back to our rooms at night he's always like, u want me to walk u back to yur dorm? u sure? [cuz it's not good to walk at night alone] but like our dorms aren't too far and so of course i'm like, yeahhhh don't worry about it . ^_^..
i gotta go. it's 9:57pm and i should finish my laundry and other junx like that.. study and stuff. mebbe i'll get my internet going already and blog again soon, and put up my layout. *XD*
oh yeah
and if i made a blog for u... like jane n reggi n stuff... replace "animevegeta.hypermart.net" with members.spree.com/college/chibi012 .... okieeee?? arritey then, i'm finally off now.
ahhhhh i'm gone!!~ chibi's disappeared from the world XD
well, just for 2 weekz. i didn't even get to blog before, but yeah the computer's packed.. so no online for 2 weekz [until i actually get to penn state] . so if i promised anyone anything.. it'll have to be delayed okieez? ahhh linna i didn't bring my disk [i'm @ phil's house right now, using his comp haha] ... i wanted to post more of elite but ersh, some other time... if not until i get to penn state. and ummz.. ahh~ it's so boring not being able to go online i stuffz! i'm being tortured.. i hope i can get a new blog layout by jinz bday, considering i'll get back online ON his bday. ^_^v what else... i don't think there is anything else. yeah, no tv, no comp.. OH and i dont even have a cellie - my mom canceled it so that i can have a plan when i go away [why couldn't she wait til i actually got there.. -_-;;; stupid..] .. n yeah, won't have a phone for 2 weeks. unless i use my bro's phone XD .... oh and ... a pic of paul... lolz.. finally rah? he was getting ready for some dinner thing n i made him take a really quick pic. he's been mad tired so yeah that's why he's got bags. buuutt yeah.. lez sed she likes his cheeks O-o lolz.. yeah. well i gotta go, i'm hogging up phil's computer. XD talk to u guys... in a little while... i miss u all!
dean n stuffz
awwwwwwieee... yeah i'm talkin to dean rah now. aww, i think that whole "i think dean likes chibi" thing finally is over. ^_^v check this IM out.
OO0IceDragon0Oo: U KNOE WHAT I HATE GIRLS
l s0Nic l: u hate me too?
l s0Nic l: i'm cool i think
OO0IceDragon0Oo: NAH JUST SOME GIRLZ
l s0Nic l: lolz
OO0IceDragon0Oo: YEA YOU ARE KOOL
OO0IceDragon0Oo: I THINK YOU ARE THE ONLEE GIRL THAT I KNOE WHO PLAYS VIDEO GAMES
l s0Nic l: LOL
l s0Nic l: -_-;
OO0IceDragon0Oo: I'D TRADE YOU TO BE M SISTER
OO0IceDragon0Oo: MY SISTER IS BORING
l s0Nic l: lolz
l s0Nic l: haha
OO0IceDragon0Oo: ASK YOUR LIL BRO IF WE CAN TRADE SISTERS
OO0IceDragon0Oo: SHE IS ONE BORING GIRL
awwwwww..... so yeah, i jux put that lil bit in. so yeah, he thinks i'm a really cool person n stuffz like that, so good to know that he really jus thinks of me as a good friend, n glad to know he can see me like that. his confiding in me wid his probz mean a lot to me.
gahhh
sorry to janie, jo-chan, seol unni, and reggi... hypermart deleted my account so all your pics on yur blogs won't be working for now. -_-;;; but my brother is getting me a domain, so i should have them fixed by thursday, hopefully. >_<
tests and evaluations n shit
LOL... so i was bored! again.
took the ant test ... lolz. i'm a RED ant. hellz yeah!! woohoo. .....::>
"A true blue Redant! You are a very positive person who is open to new and fresh ideas in these times of great uncertainty. Creative, easygoing, you bring sheer delight and happiness to the Ant's Nest. Definitely someone whom Redant would like to potentially work with or someone who could possibly work for us. You are a redhot social animal. Please e-mail us."
LOLz. yeah. and some capricorn traits as well as my rising sign aquarius traits. rising sign is the sign that the sun was in when u were born.
a handwriting test..:
"You can be a secretive person. You like changes and are always wanting to try something new - but you also like to think seriously and are cautious when it comes to making decisions. This can make you look more mature than your friends."
and the age thing...
"His and your age should nearly be the same, Your partner should be nearly the same age or at most one to two years older than you. Most people tend to fall into this category. He could be a former classmate or a colleague who shares similar tastes, favorite activities and hobbies with you. If the one for you is a stranger, chances are that both of you will be drawn together by sharing a hobby. Couples falling into this category will be great friends for life."
---------that's what lez got too ^_^
a ring test. since i don't wear rings...
"Wearing no rings at all suggests that someone wants to live a simple, no-frills life. These people are sincere, trustworthy, peaceful, clever, hard-working and always want to learn new things. They tend to shy away from crowds and avoid conflict whenever they can."
i like coffee icecream :
"You have confidence in your ability to get things done. You are a leader among friends, and a good one too. You are responsible and like to challenge yourself by taking up difficult tasks - and you usually succeed."
my personality test... "A bright and cheerful person, You are always cheerful and charming. You never get too serious with people when they're around, but when you are alone, you think carefully about what they have said. That's because you don't want anyone to see you being too somber. Your personality means you have a lot of friends and you are often the center of attention. Many people who fall into this category become artists and movie stars... perhaps fame could be yours in the future as well."
that's all i feel like posting.. cuz i took so damn many.
dean, plans for tomorrow
well, dean has been confiding in me in his problems, and a recurring dream that goes along with it. i analyzed it for him [i also did one of paul's dreams] ... wai analyzing is fun. but yeah, dean sed i was good ^___________^v
basically he's in this situation where, if he goes after the girl, his best friend will be upset. if he doesn't go after her, he'll be lying to the girl. but he doesn't want anyone to get hurt. blah, i think he knows what to do, he just doesn't know how and when to do it. i told him, u can't get what u want without paying the price. soooo.. we'll see how it goes.
tomorrow night i planned on going out to dinner @ a korean/japanese restaurant, wear nice stuffz, then go play pool afterwards and then to eagle rock after that. it's pretty there, u can see city lights and stuff and it's like a park. it'll be fun. but yeah, i think everyone can go, so yay~! XD
made me think
well i read linna's blog, sorta replying to it [btw happy bday minu-ppa! how old are u, 22?] anyway, i didn't really understand how i was disappearing from the gayo world. not posting as much...? let's just say that started happening once H.O.T. "broke up" shall we say. we all know they'll be back together in the future, but for now they're all individual as artists. ever since then, i stopped going to H.5.T. as much as i used to, and well... the fact that my computer stopped letting me go online didn't let me do much. like, all my pics and vdos and stuff are on the other computer, the one i'm on now is my dad's/bro's so i can't exactly do whatever the hell i want - like dL'ing vdos and mp3s. it's not my computer... the only space i get are 2 folders - kpop and jrock. -_-;
but yeah, that's only part of it. fics -> i've never been much of a poster for fics anyway, with moving from house to hotel, then to another house... only to move to my dorm - i don't have time to actually sit still anymore. and well, there's my social life to think about. i'm not going to be around my RL friends for much longer, i'd like to spend as much time with them as possible. so i'm constantly out, that and competing with my bro for online time is nuts. most of u online i'll always get to talk to, bc since we all never really met [cept for a few], it won't matter much cuz i'll get to see u online anyway. if i'm out and i get home... and well, i can't help it if i'm just really tired. sorry linna if u feel like there isn't much to talk about since i seem to have forgotten about jin like that. i like to think that as much of a dreamer i am, i'm more grounded and practical, realistic i guess. i can't be spending all day online gushing over kpop n jrock when the world outside is going on without me. sounds a bit harsh, but when it comes down to it, that's the way i look at it. once classes start i'll prolly end up concentrating a whole lot on my studies, but hey i guess that's more of a priority for me than the gayo world is.
and of course, bc me n paul live so far away, the only chance we get to talk is online - so i'm going to treasure talking online with him, and i hope that makes sense for all of you.
i'm a very emotional/sensitive/romantic person who likes to have those she loves close by. i can't even achieve that with jin, so no matter how much i love him, sooner or later i will have to give it up. like how eric found a girl, who isn't to say that jin, or minu, or taya will be next? dreaming is nice, but once you get that slap of reality, it fuckin sucks. basically, i got to thinking this way once i saw how emotionally depressed a lot of my friends who are eric's fans were, i wouldn't want to be like that. so before i get too attached, i'll just make myself get used to the fact that i'll never have him, not in this life time. and if fate does see me with him, then so be it... it will eventually happen right? so if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. if not, then u just gotta move on.
that's the way i see it. i'm a blunt person, and even more so to myself. i need a good smack in the face if i find myself daydreaming again. i prefer reality over fantasy, no matter how great it may seem. fantasy is what it is - a fantasy that's not meant to materialize when i want it to, it's an illusion, a dream. and until the day it comes true, that's all it will be to me.
kara and jo-chan
man, after reading their blogz i feel so ..... helpless. i just want to help them both out. first, kara ... i wanna kick ralph's mom's ass bc she dare call up kara's house n say such things. no matter how bad ass kara can be, she'd NEVER be such a bad influence on ralph, i think he can think for himself... and the fact that she has to be racist gets on my nerves too. it kinda reminds me of my best friend diane and her friend ray, she's older than him and he's chinese too. cept, they're not anything *yet* and ... yeah. but ersh, i can understand why kara would promise ralph's mom that she'd stay away as long as she gave ralph his life back.. but ERRRRRRR it still frustrates me. close-minded parents... esp when those two love each other and just want to be with each other all the more. *hugz kara*
and jo-chan... she's just ... not happy. whenever my friends aren't happy, i just get affected in one way or another. and tho she says she's not depressed, it's just... blah. she's unhappy with herself and some of her friends, and she's not finding anything worthwhile in life, and she's unhealthy bc she's always feeling light headed and faint. :T i'm worried about u dongseng!
i'm so concerned for kara and jo... both are having kinda rough times right now and of course i wanna help out, but like, there isn't much you can do, yano?
jin vs paul
okie, before i go out, lemme blog bout this since i just read lez's blog.
granted, i don't think about jin as much as i used to, paul's taking up a lot of my time now. the weird thing is, when i first met paul, i kept comparing him and jin. they're the same height, similar dorky/goofyness, same hands, and ..... i think they have the same lips. still, even tho i have a man now, i still think of jin as the epitome, the man that i still want to be with. even paul knows about him, and he puts up with my.. obsession i guess you can say. slowly, it's getting to me that i might just not end up with jin, it'll always be that i love him and he won't love me back simply bc that's the way things are, and i'll never be with him. but yeah, i still think of jin, still imagine myself in bed with him *cough* and still imagine his arms around me. i only like paul, i am still in love with jin.
i guess i wonder the same as lez, in time will it be the same? i don't know, i guess time will tell *jaewon!* ... -_-;;; but i won't deny it, now that i have paul a lot of my jin-jin-jin-jin-all-the-time time has shrunk. i still have my feelings for him, but the fact that i see jin in paul allows me to look at paul more, in that sense.. err.. i dunno if i'm making sense. i just remember that when i first chilled with him, it felt like i was with jin in a way. but ersh, the fact that he knows about jin is just ... funny. lolz.
which leaves me to ask a question, i'll prolly ask her later when i see her tonight - but how do u [chelle] n KP keep it going?
yummmmm
i'm eating SUCH good japanese noodles right now...... like, they're instant but still. umaii~ XD
wed night
well, basically around 8:30pm i went over to roz's house and me, phil, kelvz, n roz were chillin there - like usual. paul called - he got a cellie ^______^ but yeah, at around 11 we went to play pool, but first we went and got dunkin donuts n coolattas.
in pool, i won 2 games, kelvz wid 3, and phil with 1. i woulda won the 3rd one over kelvin but he got lucky and all the balls went in, along with his own ball, my last ball and a scratch. >_< man, my ball shouldn't have gone in. after that, i just wanted to go home cuz i wanted to talk to paul and well, yeah... didn't try haha. but yeahhh phil won the last game, yay. went home around 1:30am, but paul fell asleep - i knew. hehe... ^_^ i read his surveys, and he jus kept mentioning me. he put that i was his fave g/f so far [wondering if its the truth or if he put it down bc i put him down as my fave] ... :P right now he's with his ex - no i'm not jealous, actually he just called me, he had to bring her [jing] to the school cuz she had to cancel a class. but like yeah, after a minute of talking, he sed hold on and like i heard her voice in the background n then like, he sed he had to go. like, he mentions her a lot so i guess i kinda wanna meet her. i'm not worried about him going back to her or anything, he told me what happened between them and they're just frenz. but it just makes me wonder sometimes, yano? how this long distance thing is gonna work. i'm not the jealous type but, bc i haven't known him for that long, i could never be quite sure. tho, i trust him immensely already [and i know i trust quite easily] ...
anyway, i'm supposed to chill wid lez n chelle tonight [aka toki & jun] ....... oooooooo ... hahaha. ^_______^v should i be worried, they both want ghost ^_^ lolz jk. yah i haven't chilled with them in like a month and a half. so i miss them.
and more tests...
gahhhhh i didn't get to talk to paul tonight, well except for when he called my cell like around 10:30. -_-; bahhh oh well... all i've got is his voice for the next 9 days, i don't get to see him this weekend.
i'm 54% pure. i am a female [gender test], ima die when i'm 78 yrs old... 37% bastard. [lolz i'm more of a bastard than a bitch.. why is that? anyway it's still lower than the average 44%] and 57% un-intelligent.
more tests
wow.
i'm 33% gay ... which is HIGHER that the average 31% of straight females. LOLz that is hilarious omg hahahahhaa.
i took the sex test, and according to that - i will have sex with 3 ppl in my life and be in love with 1.
the iQ test is fuckin long, i don't think i'll ever finish it.
and the death test.....March 14, 2062 at the age of 78 years old.
On that date you will most likely die from: Cancer (29%)
Alien Abduction (12%)
Alcoholism (12%)
Third Degree Burns (8%)
Loneliness (7%)
Heart Attack (6%)
Suicide (5%)
Drowning (5%)
bitch test n slut test
well, i took the bitch test n the slut test... from pokey's blog - unni's friend's blog. yeah~ actually i read something interesting about whether or not a guy should be the one to handle the material possessions of the relationship. personally, i just think things should be drawn straight down the middle.. he pays for some, girl pays for some... i mean, it's not so fair if the guy has to do everything.
anyway, i'm 22% bitch out of the average 38% - lower. thas good rah?
and i'm 23% slut out of the 46% average - lower. so good.. i'm not so bad!! XP
yesterday
lolz, hmmm i'll just be brief cuz i'm talking to paul right now n i really don't feel like blogging...
went to get my chest xrayed... then i went to the gazebo near roz's house where dean, phil, roz, and kelvin were at. we stayed there for a while and me phil and dean went to get some chinese food to eat. we ate it at the place n me and dean went to the krauzer's next door to get some drinks [non alcoholic duh :P]. after that they took me back to the gazebo and i got my car.. went to roz's house but stayed outside. then we walked to the playground and chilled there til like 11pm. after that roz went back inside and me, kelvin, phil and dean went to play pool at the usual place. kelvin rode with me while dean and phil were in phil's car.. me and kelvin listened to YG on the way there and we talked about paul and roz.
we played 2 - 2.. me and dean vs. kelvin and phil. me and dean won 3 games, and kelvin/phil won 4. oh well... better luck next time.. me and dean have our little victory dance. it's SO corny but it's funny LOL. >_< hahaha.. we were cracking up when we did it the first time.. and we were just joking around and being stupid LOL. we were like.. *sniff sniff* .. whaT? i smell LOSER. rofl... and stuff like that hahaha. phil sed i'm better than him, and kelvin kept complimenting me on how i make such good straight shots and stuff, -_-; i was like, noooo.. i think me and dean lost the last 2 games was bc i was getting distracted. i was missing paul at that time :P
07-23-01
i can't blog much cuz i have to go to the radiologist right now and get my chest x-rayed, but yeah... me n paul were talking for like 4 hrs last night, bout everything n anything. and how it ended was...
me : what are we?
paul : i dunno, what are we?
*skip over a bunch of stuff*
me : i know i want to be with you, but.. i don't know about you.
paul : i'd *love* to be with you
so we're officially together on july 23rd...... tony and heejun's numberz ^_^v i'm happy :)
6 flags
welpz, went to 6 flags... ended up leaving at like 9:30/10am bc everyone was late, mostly due to the twinz bc they ended up not going last minute. and then B decided not to go either bc of mel~ anyway, we got there... rode some rides, had fun... there's this chinese food place there called wok & roll. geeeeeeez phil goes, "look sonic, that's what you do! walk and roll~" ...... >_<; they even camcorded it. ersh i think everyone likes to pick on chibi ^_^ hahaha. all g tho. i rode nitro, which is SUCH a fun ride~ and then ummz... we even went to the kiddy place that has all those cushion balls and u throw them everywhere and shoot them at ppl with these air guns.. lolz that was fun. we camcorded a bunch of stuff.. hehe XD it was nice. me, phil, kelvin, paul, and jd slept over roz's house... hahah. we watched night at the roxbury, such a funny movie, and like i went and slept with paul on the couch in the living room, while kelvz, roz, jd, n phil were in the family room where the tv was. ugh, roz got in trouble cuz her mom saw me n paul and roz was sleeping in the family room with 3 guys in there alone wid her... >_<; but i just talked to kelvin and he sed that her parents weren't mad at us, but only roz. i hope so, cuz i don't want her to hate me... i shoulda been more responsible. *sigh* anyway, we left her house in the morning, around 10 (after we all woke up and watched the movie again) ....... we went to IHOP [yep, just me and the guys again]... and then we went to see jurassic park right after that, and then after THAT we went to go play pool. weeeeee i did good today, i won 2 games XD and even tho i didn't win the other 2 that i played i still played good.. :D
B met up with us at the pool hall and then we all went to phil's house. there we watched a video for like 10 minutes and me and paul just basically spent time with each other cuz B had to leave soon and he was my ride back to my car back at the pool hall. so, while me n paul are cuddling n talkin n goofing around, etc etc, we were in this comfortable silence for a while. i broke it by saying, i'm just sad that right when i'm starting to have fun, it has to end. and then, paul sed, well i'm pretty sure that *we* won't end. so i sed, well generally it's kinda ending. i'm not gonna go into details bc i'm really tired, but i guess he kinda made it known that he wants to keep going, and not stop even tho i'm goin to college. he's in trouble wid his parents btw, bc he didn't call the twinz house and their mom wanted him to, etc etc......... so now he's not welcome at the twinz house. jesus christ, their all so ... *ERR* i can't even find a word. stingy?
i'm tired... i wanna sleep... and it's only 9:30am..... hehehe. ^_^ today i got home at like 6pm, i took a shower, my parents got home as i got out of the shower n they were pleasantly in a good mood so yeah, nice conversations~ and then i went and changed the break pads in the civic~ got myself all dirty even tho i jus took a shower -_-;
... i'm now frustrated and mad. half at me bc 2 sets of parents know that i slept with paul, literally, and well, roz told me that her mom isn't mad at me n that she still loves me. but the other mom (the twinz mom) prolly looks down on me now and stuff, i feel like i shouldn't go over the twinz house anymore. and i'm just ... so confused bc i don't know what to do, mad and angry bc the twinz told their mom about what happened [yeah well i bet their mom wouldn't be so happy if i told her that mel fucked B already], and frustrated at the whole situation in general bc i'm mad and confused and i hate not knowing what to do cuz i'm really impatient.
FUCK ME. >_<;;;;;;;;
all my sn's
cuz reggi dongseng sed i should list my sn's....... so why not? i was supposed to meet paul at 5am, but like i woke up late and then he called me at 5:30am to tell me that the twin's mom didn't want him to leave so early..
chibicuddlz, chibi012, chibi junjin, chibi wooie, hyukiez chibi, d0rk no 1, mmmm tinnerz, chibi x sonic, l s0nic l, o07 chibi 35o, l117 chibi, li jinz towel il..
is that all? i coulda swore i had more. haha, but umz, i deleted my sn's from my own buddy list so like i can't double check - BUT reggi prolly has them all on the BL at her house, mebbe. we went thru the *make a lotta sn's* phase together.. lol, as u can see i had an sn dedicated to everyone. mebbe seol unni has them too... @_@ cuz i know i had around 15 last count, and that up there is only 12 or suttin. ok ima go to roz's now.. it's 6:15... gonna go get a camera and um, sleep at her house XD
2 more sn's
gosh i have like over 20's sn's... i should list them ne? anyway i have two more dedicated to my lovely jungle friends crew.
l s0Nic l & cHiBi x sOniC
hehe, the first one the 'o' is a zero... yep. anyway i gotta wake up in like 4 hrs so i better sleep..
back from penn state
yay i got back early... i was done with my advising counselor at like 3 and left at 3:30 and got back at 7:30... woulda been home earlier but we stopped at some places.
the japanese 001 class was FULL!! *UGH* but my counselor jjang bc she called up someone and she pulled strings to get me in XD wai!! *glompz melissa <- her name* hahahaa, wai! and then i'm taking this ancient medetiteranean class, economics, psychology, n math - which i don't really have to take but hey, it's college algebra 2, easy class. so yeah... class monday-friday but they're all spread out evenly i guess. i had fun today, yeah.. i'm kinda excited to go there now. the dorm rooms suck but like, i'm excited anyway. there was a group of black n spanish guys.. about 6 of them.. and i was coming down the stairs at the HUB Center, which is like the main lobby sorta building...a chill place where u eat n meet up and stuff like that. and i was coming down the stairs and they all are staring at me but like, i jus glanced at them and looked away. anyway, as i came by them, one of the guys whispered, "damn! she's a freshman!" ... LOL. like i can't hear u, fool. but hahaha that was funny. burst yur bubble that i'm a dumb itty bitty freshman huh? lolz.
i hate a lot tonight.. geez. sweet n sour chicken, fried wonton, mixed vegetables... hahaha. ^_^ oh and i opened my fortune cookie, and u know what my fortune said? it said, "you are the guiding star of his existence". i'll let u think of what it might mean, but as soon as i read it i thought of paul. u know what he told roz? he told her like last week that he's so infatuated with me. and roz was like, damn already? i dunno if that's a bad thing, either he really likes me and will continue to do so, or it's just an intial thing and it'll eventually go away. can u tell i'm unsure of things? cuz i am, i'm confused about what i want, and what i want to do about it. but yeah, i get to see him tomorrow.. more specifically, i'm meeting him up at the gazebo at 5am. *jumps*
linna jus told me someone dies in nari's fic. *nyah* :P OH and .. this pic of wannie ... is just hilarious. hahahah.. look u can see my jini's arm on the left side, it's his left arm... hahaha.. makes me think 'touch me baby'. -_-;; did i tell u guys how similar paul n jin are? both 6'1", both have almost the same hands.. jinz more muscular but yeah of course he is.. sekshii bitch. hahahha. XD n they're both goofy and like to dance and etc etc... ~ i'm sleepy ima go now.
toki n me
look it's us! - http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Market/5321/KandF/KF20.jpg
aren't we so bishi? XD
@ penn state
hey all of u! i miss u guys! hehe, yeah i met up with wonsuk oppa aka chris, lana's friend. and he had a friend from buffalo too... so yay i made 2 new friends already ^_^v we're @ the computer lab in this big ass library... c2 u shoulda came!! we went everywhere~ n learned a bunch of stuffz. :P yeah, chris is cool to chill wid, i saw him at the test room but like i couldn't talk to him bc the test started.. n then i finished early so i left. but when i was signing up for my account onto the pennstate comp system, he showed up and came right up to me and sed, "hey". ^__________^ reggi where's yur oppa? this hot oppa that u say is yummy-looking.
so yeah... i think the friend's name is matt. O-o i'll feel bad if i forgot already, but i think it's matt. he's from buffalo and he sed it took him 6 hrs to get here. well then that means that ... it shouldn't take paul THAT long to get here, mebbe 4 hrs? *sigh* well he called me twice today, my cell phone bill is going to be so high! wah! but like yeah... i'm having fun, even tho my body is tired and i need real food - hate fast food. and yeah, one more day and then i can go to 6 flags. oh and i mentioned sleeping over roz's on saturday night and my mom didn't say a thing, i was going on about how it's my "before i go for college" thing and how so many ppl are going and that i'd have it at our house cept we're moving, so roz volunteered her house...... LOL she didn't say anything, she just nodded and yah. good for me... hehehe. ^________^;;
linna, i'm not mad at you anymore... i never was mad. i was just, i dunno, i didn't feel right talking to u right after we had that conversation. we just didn't agree on the whole liking dean/paul and then wanting to find out and then being honest on the blog... i just wanted to say that whenever i blog, i always am honest. if i don't include things, sometimes things are better left alone. i don't want to start petty fights over something i said in a blog - bc if it's that petty it's not worth it. sure, i should feel i can write whatever i want in MY blog, but when it comes to the point of causing friction between friends... i'll just keep it to myself. it's only if it's not that important, anyway. with dean and paul... i love dean - as a friend. wanting to know is just the way i am - i'm always curious and then i always want to know, whatever it is i'm talking about. it interested me bc if he's acting mushy or affectionate - i'd want to know if it was bc he cared as a friend, or more than a friend. i haven't seen him in a while, last friday... so i prolly won't confront him about it. but if starts to get protective of me or anything, i'll prolly bring it up casually ~ or maybe not at all. i wouldn't outwardly and bluntly say it. with paul, i care about him more than a friend, i'm just really reluctant to bring things further. i'm the type of person who likes to keep loved ones near, needs to have them near physically... so i guess it all depends on what happens between us in the next few weeks. he already told me he didn't want it to just be a summer-thing. i'll post the IM later when i get home, if i remember.
ima go chill more wid chris n matt... oh and um, is it just me or are there a LOT more jun jin fans now?? O-o hahaha, ima make my own clique too. if i have time... sounds fun XP
so linna, hopefully when i get back we can start talking wacky like we always did - i miss u.
finished w/another blog
go to jo-chan's blog.. yeah, she prolly didn't blog yet, but yeah. i just have to finish some stuffz but that has to wait until i get back from penn state. (oops i linked it wrong.. it's right now... *i'm @ penn state right now.. going online when i'm supposed to be doing my computer account hehe) XP
gone for a few days
well yeah, i won't be online for a while... thursday is my placement test @ penn state and friday is orientation. saturday i'm goin to 6 flags and i might sleep over roz's, so i won't be here sunday. b'sides i 'll prolly be spending the day with paul... and um i'll prolly be back either monday or tuesday.
talked to my kuya john today, yay i miss him. and i talked to myra, and she told me she was planning something for me before i left. -_-' she sed it was a surprise. riiiight nice surprise, telling me and all. >_< i wish she didn't tell me, now i'm all... expecting something.
ima be leaving in like 2 hrs but i gotta get ready soon, so yeah. blog when i get back!
*sigh*
there's so much to blog about but right now i'm just really tired n stuff... don't wanna type that much. all i'm really thinking about is...... how i can never have things go the way i want them to sometimes. i mean, i don't wanna write everything off as not going my way.... but certain things. i care about paul a lot but he lives so far, and once i go to penn state, it'll even be farther. jun jin, i love this guy, but he has no idea i exist and he lives in korea. i'm leaving my friends behind to go to penn state, i'm on uneasy terms with linna, my younger brother, and i have no time to do what i want... argh. everything's just getting to me and i'm really not enjoying it. i even broke a little @ roz's today.. i started to cry but i stopped myself. i'm just depressed right now.
weeeee! more about paul, other stuff
so i had a lot of fun last night O-o hahahahah. okie well i woke up @ 12:30pm, cuz i remembered i made plans with them to chill at 1pm. sooooo... i forced myself to wake up. I checked my cell and i missed a call [i thought i heard my phone go off...] but yeah, phil called like at 10:30-11am. sooo i call them back, and phil tells me they woke up at 10 and ate already and stuff. he gives the phone to paul and we make plans to meet up @ roz's house bc phil had to go to chinatown and kelvin had to go home. so i meet him at roz's around 4... and we go to woodbridge mall. just the two of us bc i thought roz already left to go to the mall (but i later found out she was still home -_-;;;) ... and we walked around the whole mall like 3x and then we went to starbucks and he bought me an iced cafe mocha, and we got to sit in those way comfy chairs. and for a good hour or so we just talked. then roz called me and she was in the mall already so i was like, ok so let's meet up. the twinz and b were with roz and ... i really wanted paul to talk to the twinz bc they have to tell each other how they're feeling and stuffz. myra and paul resolved their issues [myra's having probz with jon] but he still didn't talk to mel. and b was telling me how mel felt... but argh she's just so stubborn and hard-headed and unrealistic and .... gosh, she's a bitch. but she doesn't direct any of it to me, so i'm not gonna be shady to her, yano? i'm neutral in everything.. i kinda already am on pplz sides but i'm not going be in her face about it. sigh, i hate being the middle person.
anyway, so we go back to roz's to get in my car cuz paul drove to the mall, and we go to dale's grad party. me n paul basically spent a lot of that time walking around the neighborhoods and park and we went to the back of the hall and there were picnic tables and stuff, and we just stayed there and chilled, talked and stuff. i think he wanted me to kiss him but i didn't. ummmmm fast-forward... we danced, saw dale and austin's really nice dance, walked around some more, and the phil called to tell me that they were at guyz n dollz again and that we should come up. LOL, kelvin wanted a tournament. XD me/paul vs. phil/kelvin vs. dean/jd. LOL.... awww that sounds like fun XD but... we ended up not doing that bc we were both tired and that's a lot of driving bc they live so far from me. so basically me and paul just stayed in his car, at roz's house. XD we watched some inital d [an anime] on his laptop and then we put that away and just cuddled and talked some more. i was intending to go to sleep but he didn't want me to go to sleep. hahahaha he wanted to kiss me so bad, but i wouldn't let him. it was so much fun lolz, and LEZ i told him how u call me tease, and he sed that it was 110% true. LOL. *high 5's male self* ...
roz came home and we talked with her in paul's car for a while, talking about mel & b.. and everyone else's isht with mel........... GOD. she hasn't done anything to me but when i hear what she does to other ppl, it makes me wanna smack her. and dammit i can so kick her ass but it's not my place to [yet]. roz went back inside to sleep... hmmmmmmm.. me and paul fell asleep after some more teasing and joking around and stuff. at like 4:30 my phone went off and that's when i started waking up. he didn't want me to leave ^_^ and it was mad cold outside, i didn't want to leave either. but i had to, and i gave him a quick kiss before he could even think about it. we went outside, the sun was rising [by now it's 5am] and hmmmm... his contact fell out and we warmed up our cars and other stuff. we sed our goodbyes XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD and i left, got home around 5:30am....
DAMN my younger brother for saying that he went to sleep at 2:30am and i wasn't home yet. *smacks him* .. HE'S not going anywhere with ME anymore. but whatever, my older brother is home and he was kinda defending me like, saying how i'm not stupid and wouldn't go fuck someone and get pregnant and whatever [cuz my mom is being really paranoid right now] ... just bc i'm out late doesn't mean i'm doing shit, yano? yah i was awake in my bed listening to them talk hahaha, well that's a good thing cuz if she asks what time i came home i'll say around 3. oh well. it was a lot of fun, i can't wait to see paul again in a few days cuz we're going to 6 flags on the 21st. i think we might have a big sleepover on friday so that we all can go to 6 flags saturday morning.. and have another sleepover?? into sunday. i HOPE we can do that.. XP otherwise i'll sleep over saturday night and ... come to roz's house really early that morning, instead of sleeping over haha. i'll go like 3-4 in the morning O-o hahahaha. :P hmmmmmm... let's see.
everyone that went to the sbs concert - blog!!! i wanna know what happened *pout* .. i wanted to go... i wanted to see jini-baby and .. and... give him a towel with chibi on it... [or in it?!] ...... ::sigh:: i miss him so much, i miss shinhwa i miss hot i miss andy i miss tony i miss heejun and everyone. gahhh...
movies, paul~
well, i just got home. got in as quietly as possible... aish i feel like i've been so bad lately. 5am just getting in... staying out and... ay nakz. anyway. i'll start with the beginning, i went to roz's house and then we went to get my hair cut... which pretty much came out to 30bucks. ugh. from there we went to a quickcheck where i had to get more money... and then umz, went to phil's house. @ phil's house, we had to wait for paul to get there. so i asked phil, kelvin... and phil's 4 other friends if they wanted to wash my car ^_________^ hahahaha. and well we did! so we washed my car and scrubbed the paint off -_-;;; a pain in a ass might i add. took us an hour n 15 minutes to get that paint off. it was mostly me and roz and then this guy... forgot his name... phil n kelvz only helped out SOMETIMES. but yah i was like, aww phil ^_^v then ummz, paul kept calling cuz he was lost... so... finally when he called again phil and his friends went to get him. me, roz, kelvz, and the helpful other guy waited for like 5 minutes and they came back. freakin kelvin embarrasses me by going "hey there paul!" and he makes kissy sounds. so i push him and he's like, i was kissing the air bc of me, not u! yeah ok whatever, lol, that hyenna. anyway, i greeted paul and kissed him on the cheek and we were both smiling so yeah. we went to... guyz n dollz billiards to play pool. i played 1-1 with paul and then roz dragged me to the taco bell next door so we could eat our dinner. errr these random guys were checkin us as we exited the pool hall, and they ask "xcuse me, do u ladies know what time it is?" and.. yano, i wanted to be nice. so i take out my cell and say the time, but the guy takes out his watch-ed wrist and says the time and says, "it's 9:50, right?" ... -_-;;; weirdo. me and roz just turned and walked away. later kelvin and dean came by the taco bell and i told them what happened.. hahaha. dean was like, that's so lame ^_^ paul is better than me so of course i didn't win against him at all but that's okay.
we went back to philz house and then we went to the movie theatre to watch Final Fantasy - the Spirits Within. awwww i liked the movie, it wasn't jjang but it wasn't dumb either. if it was a vdo game.. it'd be ass kickin. paul had his arm around me the whole time... damn that arm rest. lolz. we left and we went back to phil's house... and we went to annie's road and "midgetville" which is a lil neighborhood of ... midgets. it's bad that we looked at their houses just to get a kick out of it, but it was weird tho how that neighborhood was there n all. annie's road is supposedly a road that had a girl that died and stuff. >_< i think we saw annie... at first we thought it was an actual girl [i screamed and scared everyone btw] but then like, when we turned around we didn't see the girl anymore. i swear she looked like an 'annie'. hehe... then we went back to phil's house, watched a little of paul's vdo, and then we went to roz's house. me and paul were in the car for like a half hour just talking as i was driving, it was cold but i needed to stay awake lol. we got to roz's house like 5-10 minutes before roz, phil, and kelvin got there. instead of going to the gazebo like we planned we ended up just chillin in front of roz's house and.. yeah. i hope she doesn't get into too much trouble.. we got to her house at 4 and .... chilled talking and stuff until 5. when me and paul were waiting for them, we had our arms around each other and tryin to keep each other warm. he kept rubbing his hands on my arms when we were with the others, occasionally hugging me from behind as he would put his arms around my waist. AHH he's touching the forbidden flub. >_< lolz but he was warm... so... :P he body pressed up along my backside, it was nice. kept me warm and yah. i put my hands where his arms were bc i had them crossed and tried to keep him warm too, i would be moving my fingers around and then he would imitate me... haha.. everytime he does that i get all tingly lolz. i'm way ticklish.
reggi's blog
blogging again........... speaking of blogz, now reggi has one. yep i finished.. i think this one is the best one i've made yet.. >_< makes me wanna... revise unni's and jane's blogs, and mine too! LOL. actually i'm in the process of making a new one... but i've gotta finish jo-chan's blog.
only reggi would name their blog fobalicious.. -_-;; luv u dongseng.
eric n shinhwa.. junjin.. -_-;;
i read this interview in the replies forum of fanatical fiction forum....
Eric: It's good that I finally got it out..but i don't know how fans would feel about it..)
DongWan:We won't be able to see Eric anymore..^^
MC: how did you meet your girlfriend?
ERic: I can't tell you her name and stuff because she has her personal life too, and I also don't want her to get hurt because of me.... Our coordinators changed...and she's a younger sister of one of them. She's smart and most of all, she makes people feel comfortable and understands you...you can't just help loving her.
MC: She might be watching, so say something
JunJin: Pretending I'm her.... ^^
ERic: ^^....I'm sorry I'm so ignorant saying I'm busy....And thank you for telling me 'it's ok' whenever I call.....I don't know how our future's gonna be like....
MC: who proposed?
Dongwan: ....wait...isn't this OUR interview.??Or is this Eric's SPECIAL interview?
Junjin: he's just jealous...Hyung..you got me...^^
Eric: I've known her for like a year...and we clicked real well like brothers and sisters....I proposed....first
MC:I'm guessing she's a great person
Eric: She's really nice and she's my type....not the looks but personality and stuff
MC: This is kinda personal but what did she say about nude pictures?
Eric: She first said she doesn't really like it...so it wasn't easy for me to decide...but I told her what I thought and she understood like always...
DongWan: I don't have a girlfriend..so I got permission from Junjin
oi oi... jun jin is being used as the girl. -_-;; *smacks jin* hey when are u gonna tell the whole world that we're getting married in 10 years.. ^_^;;;; .. where's minu and sungie in all this? and i'm happy for eric.. he seems happy, and i think wannie and jin are trying to make things more comfortable and easygoing by cracking jokes n stuff. heejun n tony were like that when hyukie had to meet his first crush. ^_^v awwwwww.
beheading-
right, like when i woke up this afternoon (3:30 mind u) ... i went and opened the email dean and phil sent me last night, which has a mpg of some guy a few decades ago getting beheaded. arrite, it's not too peachy... watch it here .. u gotta right click n save. but lemme warn everyone in advance.. it's really nasty and ... yucky. remember, this file was a REAL beheading, so ummz... that's why it's so disturbing i guess. but for your amusement [and corruption] you can watch it.
i bought my hair dye, now all i have to do is... get a haircut.
yay!
so paul is coming down to jersey tomorrow XD hahahaha. right now we're playing a game...... well not really. but he calls it email tag. and it's just another name for emailing someone and having them reply. he's not staying at the twins house however, but before he got to tell me more he had to go mow the lawn and stuffz. so basically he's staying at dean's house, then phil's, then kelvin's... -_-;;; they're passing him around!! LOL. but they're all being so nice and stuff, letting him stay over their houses and whatnot, yet he has cousins but i guess i'll find out why he doesn't want to stay there - other than arrousing suspicion from their parents and getting a curfew of 1am.
i want to cut my hair already! i'm thinking... a mix of heejun/tony/jun jin's hair... lolz. yep. i'm weird n crazy and the lady who cuts my hair will probably fuck it up, but... i guess i'll just have to take that risk? >_< hehe well even fucked up hair sometimes finds its way to look decent. i hope not tho... i hope it comes out bangin XD hahahaha. notice all my hair is coming from the guy's haircuts. oh well! too bad.
me and phil were having this deep conversation last night. we stayed up til 5:30am just talking about.. friendship, relationships, j-rock [i'll be very amused if i make a j-rock fan outta him XD], dancing... yeah we want to make up a dance. i think we're gonna use a korean song ^_^v yay. he told me i can choose the song. WELL. yay. i wanna use a song by... s#arp.. or... space a. cuz i always wanted to use those dance/techno/peppy songs but diane [my choreographing partner] was always saying no to them ^_^ haha. well he sed i could choose, soooo ima be very picky. we're just doing this for fun btw, and once we're done we're gonna teach GAP and PNC.. and prolly RICE. that'd be cool to see like 20 ppl doing the dance. sigh ima miss everyone when i leave for college. dean and phil sed they'd visit tho, even tho it's 4 hrs away. how very nice of them.. *sigh* lolz.
arrite if i want my hair cut and stuffz.. i should go call up places and see if they will cut my hair like.. early tomorrow or something. and i gotta go and buy my dye.
personality disorder test
i got this from unni'z blog, and she got it from esca's blog.
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low
you can take the test here ... so yah. i'm glad to see i'm not as psycho as i might seem. lolzz...
i hope paul can come down this weekend........
i gotta work on reggi-poo's blog... and jo-chan's too.
jin looks really hot in his new pics, w/lionz mane and all... gonna use that on my new blog layout ^_^v and i really miss tony.. and andy...
finished unniz blog
well i kinda sorta finished my unniz blog... to see it click either on the side or on the link right under this paragraph -_-;;; i'm tired.. ima go sleep now.. 2 more blogz to go.
look look
christine made me a jin collage..... it's jin!! ... awww i love that guy. it has a lot of his looks on there too ^_^v can't forget the abs... haha. i miss jin, i need my computer back so i can go back to dl'ing vdoz and stuff... sigh.
paulz online but he's not at the computer... dummy. he should put on his away message or suttin cuz i IMed him and didn't get anything back -_-;;;; paul u dork i wanted to talk to u too. oh well.
i was giving advice to roz and kelvin.. cuz they like each other u know. but roz is with kevin. aish, i feel a bit guilty, i've been friends with kevin for so long... more than roz and kelvin combined. but i honestly don't think roz and him should stay together.. -_-;;; i'm kelvin's "confidant" or something... awwwww and our talking at the gazebo last night bonded us closer. he sed, "you know we're gonna remember this night forever?" and he sed "yah last night was phat". ^______^v i think him and roz should go together... he was telling me how RICE are the kinds of guys that would treat a girl right, and they don't like cheating and stuff like that... i was like... awwww... u guys. i love them for that. they're so *good* to others.
well i asked kelvin what he thought of paul and he sed that he was a great guy, really nice and stuff. lolz, somehow when i told him i liked paul he wasn't surprised... and THEN he's like, yah, paul likes you... we all know. i was like, how do u know? and he wouldn't tell me. -_-;;;; either paul or myra... @_@ but yeah, he sed that he was a really nice guy, cool and stuff. he kinda assured me, he was like, u two like each other, whatever happens will be for the best. kelvin i love you!
my fingers are really cold.. i can't type anymore...
monday night
well today i went to the doctor's as planned, but first i picked up my medical records from school then i dropped them off at the office. gotta get my chest xray.. mebbe tomorrow?
then i went to lana's house, chilled there for a while then we went to eat at burger king, then rita's... which i did not finish btw, i only ate like. the first layer and i gave the rest to lana and her sister, julianna. i went to pick up roz at her house, then we went to the twinz house. there we awaited phil and the rest of them.... oh and i was mistaken. PNC (peaches n cream) are the girls of the cotillion while GAP (gwapo ang pinoy) are the guys.. lolz.. i thought gap was everyone -_-;;; i'm really behind.....anyway. RICE = jd, dean, phil, kelvin. moving on... phil and kelvin came, we chilled... we walked to a pizza place nearby and picked up a pizza pie and came back. we were supposed to watch a movie, but the twinz dad ended up watching the movies, so we stayed in the basement.
myra was all like.. kristine i gotta talk to u... of course i knew it was about paul. so we she finally started telling me... about how yesterday (sunday) he kept telling her to call me.. "call kristine, call kristine". and then he had class today right, so he was trying to do homework, and then he shut his laptop and sed, "damn i can't concentrate, kristine's on my mind" ... and then, he told myra.. how he thought of me. god, the whole time myra was telling me this (n blowing up my spot n all) i was jus smiling and hugging pong close to me and etc etc. he sed that i intrigue him O_o .. wow that's a big word, intrigue. i intrigue him? i wonder, i gotta ... find out what about me intrigues him. and that i'm so pretty and cool ... O_o i didn't know he thought all that about me. really surprising, but really.. really flattering. i think their whole family knows lolz bc when i got to the twinz house their mom was like, asking me all these questions about college, when i'm moving, what i'm majoring in.. etc. she was like sorta drilling me in a sense that... i kept thinking, since when was she so interested in ME? but yeah, paul sed that he likes me, but he doesn't wanna jeopardize our friendship ~ which i totally agree with considering that he lives so far XT
but i do want to see him soon, he might not come down on friday and he might just wait until we go to six flags.. which might be on the 21st. :( i was looking forward to this weekend too, if he's not here friday, i guess i'll just end up bonding with RICE or something... me and dean plan to wear all white for the final fastasy movie.. -_-;;;
so anyway, i drove phil, kelvin, roz to phil's house.. dayem they live far. and phil took us to eagle's rock, which is a nice place on like, a cliff.. it has a nice view. we chilled there then we went back to phil's house and we drove to roz's... and they ended up following me back there. -_-;; i thought kelvs had work tomorrow! and .. i thought phil... oh forget it. so we go back to roz's house.. and then me, phil, and kelvs are just talking.. then roz called me and told me to go talk somewhere else cuz i guess our voices were carrying. so we go to this nearby gazebo near the lake bc it's right down the street of her house. we go there and ahhh we were just chillin and bonding... god, we stayed there until 3:30am. i finally got to my senses and was like, we should go home. phil and kelvin have a long ride home and kelvs got work... and i had to get my ass home. and i'm really sleepy right now... hahaha.
i didn't get to post my fic on ffl today... oh well.. it was just 3 days since the last chap, nobody is going to die just yet.. haha. .::sonic boom::.
haha
i fell asleep writing that last entry ^_^v my bad! haha ... anyway.. i feel much better today. i went to sleep last night at 4, woke up at 11 - 7hrs. good, right? then, i fell back asleep at 2 - 6. total of 11hrs of sleep.. i so needed that tho! i feel a bit better, more energized and stuff. i'm not.. bouncing off the walls but my eyes are wide open, so that's good. the twin's bro chris told me last night - "you look like you're about to pass out" .. -_-;;; tough luck for me :(
hot imports night
wai, tonight was so much fun... ^_^ i'm typing this on my computer in my room, but i can't post it until ... sunday, which is why it's posted today altho i wrote this last night/early morning.
so it's me, b, mel, myra, paul, the twin's bro chris, jon, mario, ray, james, phil, and dean. we take 2 cars to the meadowlands expo center.. made 2 wrong turns but that's ok, we thought we were supposed to go to the arnea. so we get there... the line is mad long, however... well we finally get in, and then the cars are all lined up and ish. some were ok, some were bangin, some were sweeet.... yano. all depends on the preference. there was a skyline there! (jin's car in my fic) hahaha.. skylines are so rare, but anyway, there was also a lamborgini diablo there, that's like a 200-300,000 car. there were lots with neon lights, tvs inside, psx, nice sound systems... etc. oooh, but the highlight of the night, which made me SO happy ... the owner/driver of a NSX was there. oooh NSX was my opt car before! (bc u all know it's around.. ehhh.. 95,000. well, u know what he says? he goes.. u wanna sit in it? OMG are u kidding me?! he lets me sit in ... the seat was black leather, reclined back, ... it was so nice. i was like, i'm sitting in a NSX!!! god, u dun understand, most owners get pissed if u even brush up against their car. and me, jon, and paul got to sit in it. siiiiiiiigh, best thing that happened tonight. ^_^ afterwards we went out to eat at a diner and then went to the twin's house to watch what paul had recorded.
which brings up another thing - paul. it was really inconspicuous at first, and just a little awkward when me and him would be alone in myra's room, and we'd have to talk about something. but it was all g once we started talking about dj doc (cuz he likes them) and he was showing me pictures of his friends and videos of dances his friends did. when we got there, it took like 10-20 minutes for him to actually touch me. he touched my back ever so lightly as we were crossing the street and he was leading me onto the sidewalk. it took him a while to work up to touching me again i guess, he'd always stand near me or whatever, but not exactly directly doing something to me. we were outside again, looking at more cars and taking pics and stuff, and now he'd hold my back really lightly n gently and he kept moving his fingers around, like he was scratching/massaging/feeling all at the same time. and he did this so lightly, everytime he did it, it would send tingles down my back, tickling me and all. i don't think he knew he was doing that to me tho lolz bc if i smiled, i doubt he could see it bc i was looking at other cars at the same time. eventually he started holding my shoulder, then both shoulders, then my waist n hip. yah it was progressive, i guess he gained more confidence everytime i smiled at him or did something like hug him or whatever. when we were at the twinz house and i was leaving with jon and everyone else, i wanted to actually say bye to him alone, but it didn't happen lolz too many ppl, but when i kissed him on the cheek goodbye, he said as i was pulling away, i'll see you around sometime. bc he lives in albany, ny and um, i'm in nj. ^_^ which is why i'm prolly reluctant, cuz i'll also be going to penn state, which will be farther i'm guessing. i think we'll be better off as friends, but a little attraction is there. i just don't want to start something that will prolly be difficult... but as they say, u never know until u try. anyway, i want to get to know him more before i start making more decisions.
myra let me borrow her big panda - which we call pong. my lil one is ping, this big one is pong. hehehe XD dean... he saw 'ahn' today but she was with her boy - who i happen to know, is cj. LOL.. weird. he was like, so how do u know him? ... he was depressed lolz, he sed he's gonna look for someone else now. and u know what, he came to ride in paul's car with me today... actually, now that i think about it he always rides with me if he ever has the chance. he always has my phone too, and playing with ping. lately, in the past week or so, he's been more friendly to me, i think i've been mentioning it. but aw, i'm glad he can see me as someone he can be closer to. when i mentioned college, he was like, u coming back home for summer? - u better come back. ^_^v wee i feel loved! *hugs DID* ..tonight i saw so many ppl... i saw mark mendoza (lez u and chelle thought he was kyoot at the image place) ... glenn john, aileen, marty, kevin, rica, karen, joey... pauline, larry *puke*... hmmm maybe that's it. paul was like, wow yur popular -_-;; nah i don't think so, i just know a lot of ppl bc i've chilled with so many different ppl over the past years. my crowd of friends always sorta shifted.
i wanted to apologize to paul for tonight too, i was so tired and i felt weak, i guess i cuz i didn't eat lunch n dinner fri night, and i didn't eat bk, lunch, OR dinner today. i finally ate at the diner .. around 12. >_< so by being tired i might not have been very hyper and bubbly and talkative - i was sorta quiet. :) actions speak louder than words tho, he was like.. u dun look like you're enjoying yourself! and i was like i am.. and he goes, u dun look it. and so i go, noo i'm smiling see. me and myra took a lot of pics by cars... errrrr and i pulled my hair and it tugged on my earring so now my ear is red and hurting, just when i thought it was healing and shit... i just do more damage. grrrr... gah, i'm sleepy.
friday night
lolz .. last night, me, linna, christine, dean, and phil were all talking the chat room.... i remember linna saying that dean was flirting with me - or it seemed like it -_-; but wai! we've gotten so much closer/better friends ever since we talk online and stuff. anyway, that was last night.
i first went with christine to watch mike, marc, paulo, and victor.. and others.. play ball. went to ritas, came back... blah it's boring. so we go to play pool... we go to the twins house with lana and j, and my bro. we wait there~ we're all buggin out, dean phil roz and kelvin finally meet up with us there... awww i love those guys! we made up a new laugh for kelvin aka hyenna.. hahhaa.. it's so funny. and i kept quoting dean.. I.C.E.L. and D.I.D. ^_^v ... mel then blows up my spot by saying that paul's got a crush on me. she says this in front of my brother.. -_-;;;;;;;; how embarrassing ^_^;;; but yeah, i had the feeling he did anyway, but hey i think he's cool too so we'll see where it goes from there. we all eventually leave for the pool hall... @ pines, of course... and we play, ... ray was there! we saw his car but i didn't think it was his, and then we walk in and there he is, playing pool with his friend alan.
so um, i dunno i remember going.. what teams are we on, etc etc... and dean goes, i'll go with kristine and he winks. lolz that was the kyootest thing! we were buggin out together tonight, and phil too.. that bear. -_-;; omg we went to get coolattas and his gas... errr we took the long way. on our way back we find a mobil gas station AND a dunkin donuts right behind the place we play pool at.. we're so stupid. and the light wouldn't turn green.. we were gonna make him press the button.. but he couldn't find it! LOL.. he's SUCH a bear. then the light turns green and he has to run back to the car to drive LOL it was the funniest thing.
all and all it was fun, kelvin was fun, dean was fun, phil was fun, we actually chilled with the twin's and i think things are cooling down now.. *whew* .. but at like the last moment, paul was mad? he stormed off and i have no clue why. :T but when he sed bye to me he smiled and his eyes kinda softened up a bit, sooo whew.. i was hoping he wasn't mad at me, altho i dunno why he would be. i wanna find out what was wrong.. aww.. cuz it was so sudden XP tomorrow i'm going to new imports night.. a car show. i also have to wake up early and help pack again.. sigh. so much to do..
and also, i went to the doctor today, and like all of a sudden he tells me i need to take 2 medications, i need a chest xray and a liver blood test? O_O omg. @_@ so stressed!
response to c2's blog
c2 is christine... i'm k1. anyway. (wai! listening to HOT's Soul.. junie jjang!) ... yes, anyway.
so i was thinking about 143 (me, diane, trina, christine, dale, austin, and ray) ... and the pairs of best friends. well i guess things worked bc, we all like to bug out, have fun... etc. we're all pretty friendly people but of course, we haven't chilled and hung around each other as a group to see if any conflicts would surface. but yeah, diane knew dale and austin when she went to Bishop Ahr H.S., and they were always bug out buddies... and ray, everyone loves ray. he's too nice not to like him. hm, while dale/austin and trina/christine are pretty much opposites ......... me and diane are more similar. physically, no. she'd fit in the petite category with trina/austin ~ but personality wise, we're very alike. we both are intimidating... i don't know why, i guess cuz we give off a cold/mean feeling, unless we're both buggin out at the time, then we're labeled as bitches right off. people are always surprised to see the other side of us when we're goofing around and... yeah. but everyone eventually sees it, just depends on the surroundings and the ppl we're with. and our mood. we both like the same things, almost everything we like and interested in is the same. when i talk to dean aka D.I.D. or, as linna would call him, MDM - he'd be like, i love diane's personality. and i can't help but think to myself, er, then that's sorta me too. of course we have our differences, i think i'm more conservative than her. we're both perverted and stuff, but she'll be more open about it. i'm not gonna reveal that corrupted side of myself unless i get to the know a person better. and unless the topic comes up, i don't just say... "that reminds me of a..." straight off, unless of course i'm with friends that i know a bit better. there are so many things i could talk about concerning me and diane - i've known her my whole life. me and diane... she hides her emotions and she doesn't like to cry in front of ppl. me, i cry easily since i'm more sensitive than she is, i take things more personally than she does. the thing i don't like showing in front of ppl is pain, i hide it visibly... well, my reasoning is to just take the pain, no reason why everyone should know about it, you know? pain is ... something you deal with yourself, in my opinion. i think diane is the same way about showing pain, we're both really stubborn and proud when it comes to things like that. i guess we don't like to appear weak, maybe we see crying and pain as a sign of weakness. that's something about me, bc i'm so easily affected by what others do and feel, i can show sadness and anger and - intense emotions easily. if i'm happy i'll be mad goofy and wacky, if i'm sad i'll be quiet and keep to myself and even cry if i can't hold it in, and if i'm angry i'll scream and shout -> or talk really intensely, and i'll tend to hit things or whatever. if i'm bored i get restless... if i wanna dance, i'll dance. etc.
i guess that's cool tho, having someone so alike to you that everything you love to do, you know she'll do too. and you'll react the similarly to certain situations - but if it's only you that's experiencing something, she/me will be the one with the focused mind set and be able to tell you good advice and whatnot. i guess that's why we're best friends, even if we grow distant from time apart and distance, we'll always have that bond.
then there are the set backs of a too similar personality. bc we're both pretty stubborn and proud, and etc.. we'll get into fights over little things, and we both are.. dominating ppl. we like the be the upper hand of things.. like if it's a decision, we'd like to have a big part in it... we like to organize and create things, ... the list can go on. but you know how in a friendship, usually there is the more dominant person, and the more conservative person. well, we're both dominant so in that way, we'll repel each other......... yeah. i'm getting tired of typing...
innocence, corruption, shinhwa, hyde...
happy birthday trina aka kiwi rascal!! *glomp* she's 17 today... we're gonna go out and do suttin for her bday, altho we dunno what yet.
okie, so i read in the 012shinhwa forum that this girl saw jin smoking in the reflection of a mirror during an interview, that he prolly didn't know they could see his relfection. but hmz, i'd have to see this for myself... but, what makes me a lil pissed is that all those girls are like, he smokes?! what?! impossible.. our innocent jin... etc etc. errrr, are they that naive? whether he smokes or not is his choice, his innocence has nothing to do with it. innocence and corruption intertwine in the entertainment industry, there's no going around it... don't be ignorant. and if he smokes, minu, eric.. any of them, it shouldn't make u hate them. come on, more than half of korean guys smoke anyway. and then the music industry... yeah they gotta perserve their voices, etc etc, but usually that don't show up until later years with yur voice. and it depends on the frequency of smoking.. anyway. someone also said hyukie didn't smoke - but errr, he was seen smoking in hong kong when he was shooting his vid for the 227 concert. come on... what they show on tv and whatnot, you can't believe 100% of it, they don't reveal EVERYTHING about their lifestyles. things go deeper than just the appearance and words that they show and say in public. that's the downside of being in a boy band, there are some limitations to things you do. bc of the audience.. can be so young.
it's like meeting some sweet innocent looking girl, nice and all. so then you find out she's a drug using whore who backstabs all her friends and so on.
hyde jjang! hahaha, lez was like.. where'd that come from? i'm re-dling my jrock songs and i miss all these songs! i was listening to 4th ave cafe by l'arc en ciel at the time and i was just gushing at hyde's voice. and i heard he's coming out with a solo album? oh i wanna hear! hahaha. i miss all my jrock songs, i've been so caught up in kpop for so long.
i got new pics of makoto and the rest of aucifer (pronounced lucifer)... well he's still bish, but yuki.. i dunno, he looks weird sometimes. i dunno, i have to see a vid of these group, cuz pics are deceiving as well. like he'll look cute in one pic, and like... totally different and weird in another.
my seol unni has a blog~ go click, the link is on the side bar... i'm in the process of making her new layout, but for now there's jini on there XD
............ i'm hungry! bye for now.
boring boring boring
well i went to sleep at 6 early this morning, and then i had to wake up at 7-8am... errrrrr not much of a sleep, lemme tell u. just packin and moving stuff... around 12 i fell asleep with 3 pillows on my back and head and woke up at 4:30. i guess that sorta made up for my lack of sleep. --- brb! i smell my coffee XD
iced coffee, homemade style. ^_^v anyway, i forgot ... oh yeah. so i woke up and had to pick up my dad and brother at the uhaul place... then um, i went to see fast n furious again wid my brother. we were gonna see scary movie 2, but it was sold out... so we opted for the car movie. um, now i'm home and bored as hell....
someone gimme a fic to read! a lemon!
speaking of lemon, lemme clarify what i wrote in another blog... about makoto. i was j/k about the wild animal sex part - only jin has the ability to do that to my hormones.. @_@ . i'd like to see what makoto's got and fool around wid him tho... wooo that should be fun ^_^v
fics n tennis, HOT
gahhh.. i feel like writing a gfic. but i can't, i won't! i'm in the middle of SO many fics, and just today i started to post one of them in Fanatical Fiction. but ... eeeee! better write down idea anyway ^_^;
jennifer capriati beat serena williams to go into teh semi-finals for wimbeldon... O-o ... sucks to be her...too bad.
so heejun oppa and kangta oppa resigned with SM to do more albums and help produce other group's albums... >_< man, i was hoping they wouldn't. but i guess they feel that much more humble and whatever, even if SM might treat them like shit they feel obliged to do just a little bit more bc SM gave them the opportunity to be famous. so .. i'm sad but i guess i can understand. i just hope they can be happier... but errr, then i read that HOT fans vanadlized their cars. O_o (psst linna, my fic - minu's car lolz) ... dayem! and heejun's audi too.. i think he only got writing on his, so i guess it's alright. but taya's car got a smashed in windowshield.. -_-;;; yano, they're just making things harder. can they not protest without being so damn violent? sheesh... i don't want HOT to reunite just bc they're afraid if they don't. -_-;;;;;;; crazy fans. junta-yah, tonhyukwon-yah.... come live in the U.S. we won't bite ^_^v
lucifer
man, i wanna try out this band.. (hears toki say, "really.") .. ahhahah well in that way too ^_^ but i wanna listen to their songs, cuz dammit yuki (guitarist) and makoto (vocalist) are so cute n hot. look at this pic of yuki - http://www.geocities.com/japanesechannel_lucifer/gloria03.jpg
he's so cute! i think i see freckles! that is SO kyoot.. freckles n all! *pinches cheek* ~~ and then this pic of makoto - http://www.geocities.com/japanesechannel_lucifer/gloria02.jpg
... he's so hot. -_-; i hate these bishi's from japan, they're so damn beautiful and i hate it cuz i'm a girl and i should be beautiful, not them. but.. after some thinking........... i really don't mind the eye candy ^_^v haha. and another -http://www.geocities.com/japanesechannel_lucifer/33.jpg DAMN he's hot.
unlike jin, who i want to marry and raise a family with and live with and love and everything... makoto, i just want to have senseless animal sex with O-o he's so hot. -_-; no feelings needed, he's just damn sekshii.
i hope lezzie gives me more pics ^_______________^v
arguing and boredom
well i didn't do much today, i woke up @ 3pm. i had tons of dreams though, one had to do with seeing someone holding a doll, their back to the mirror... but u still managed to see their front side in the mirror, and the doll was a much scarier version of chucky - like a porcelain doll. then.. i was in a basement and like, i remember being afraid. there were other things... i remember going into a store and seeing a thong on the rack - but it was the sandal and not the underwear. -_-;; and i remember jin, but can't remember the dream itself... oh well. but my sleep was filled with mucho dreams.
i went to the doc today with my mom cuz we need our physicals - mine for school and hers for work. i think ima have to get a lot of shots.. eeek! anyway, me and my mom were arguing so much... pissed me off i was screaming at her and everything. i got so fed up... UGH. then there's some stuff i had to fill out, but she did some for me. i remember looking at it and it would say like, have u had... headaches? fatigue? light headed? dizzy? etc. and she would put all no... ha yeah OK. and she says she knows me, and even for the consumption of alcohol, she coulda circled rarely or whatever but she put never. uhhhh, how could she put that and she even drank with me and whatnot? she's not gonna get in trouble.. it's the doctor's office yur supposed to let them know EVERYTHING, geez. -_-;;;; anyway i have to go back sometime this week. to get my shots n stuff.
i'm really bored... i need more fics to read or something cuz i'm extremely bored. i was writing one of my fics, but i accidentally closed it ... and now i don't feel like opening it up again. OH WELL. hehe. XP
paul n cars... pissy mom
LOL.. guess who called like.. 3 times today? paul. it was actually myra who called me all those times, but she was like, "yeah my cousin wants to chill before he leaves, so give me a call back" ... cuz the first 2 were voice messages. the 3rd time i picked up... and she sed, "my cousin wants to see you before he leaves"... XD hahaha. that was funny i was like, O-o really. and he sed he wanted to talk to me, and i was like... we're on the phone, why don't u talk to me right now? and he's like... "i wanna drive" ..... -_-;; well i told him i was busy packing and then my dad wanted me to keep doing chores so a guy coming over wouldn't really be peachy. so he gave in and we talked about what we were gonna do next weekend - the car show n stuff.
speaking of cars, i changed my tire today, stupid flat tire -_-;; my dad came home last night so i got to use his jack and stuff.. for some reason mine is missing from my trunk O_o. so i changed it... gosh, my dad was saying how i'll prolly end up knowing more about cars than my brother. GOOD. i love cars XD
i dunno, my mom just loves to bitch at ME. everything that comes out of her mouth is freakin attitude yelling and complaints and whatnot. can u blame me for wanted to go out all the time? grrr.. i wish paul picked me up. but whatever, stayed home today. woke up early too.. so i lost some sleep. WAH and i was snugggling so comfortably with jin too. not fair >P
i'm chattin with my yakuza right now .. yay!! and i updated jane's blog.. go visit thru the link on the side or thru this button:
english v. of falling in love
thanks to my seol unni for translating parts for me.. i thought this song was so sweet.. i had to put it in my blog.
When you open your eyes,
Can you feel our love?
My heart is happy when I look upon you
DongWan:
Quietly listen...
Can you feel our love?
I live each day because you exist
MinWoo:
I'll forever live, looking upon you
HyeSung:
I love you
Just falling in love with you
JunJin:
Today, I am here thinking of you, from place to place
To the heavens that have given me this happiness
I am so thankful
HyeSung:
When morning comes
I can feel your breathing
I miss you several times a day
Dongwan:
I'll forever live, looking upon you
Hyesung:
I love you
Just falling in love with you
Let's look upon each other always
And say, let's always be together
And I know..
It is a love you feel
Always in my heart
I promise now, I'll live thanking...
I love you
Just falling in love with you
Just falling in love with you
night out with the guys
well, i woke up today at 2:10pm to see that roz called me and she left me a message - her aunt was having a party and she had a video from the cotillion, so she was inviting us all to come up there and watch it. her aunt's place is all the way up in north jersey.. it was by the george washington bridge and hackensack, saddle brooke... i have no idea but i think we were in bergen. so anyway we go, stop by dean's house, then go to the aunt's house.. have fun.. play some volleyball. oh yeah i met mel & myra's cousin paul - he's cute ^_^v he's tall too, he's 6'1"... but ugh, of course i'm thinking of jin nonetheless.. i asked him to stand beside me and he's like, looking down at me and asks me why? and i'm like, oh nothing... reason being is, jin is about 5'11" if not taller, i don't really know, but .... i was trying to get an idea on how it would be like if i stood next to jin. -_-;;; get my mind out of the gutter.. anyway. so we left and went to the phil's house. hahaha oh yeah.. he and dean stuck their heads out the car windows and sunroof and .. phil lost his hat. -_-; we went back to find it but it was bent at the corner... $50 hat too. he was so down.. awww.
we go to the twin's house, and then go to play pool. actually, it was only going to be me, paul, dean, kelvin, and phil... but roz decided to come along and hang out with the guys just like me ^_^v i was like.. oh yeah. i didn't realize i would've been the only girl had it not been for roz. so we drive around... and we go to pine's billiards (the place i always play pool at) .. it reopened! so it's not closed after all! i play with paul against kelvin/phil & dean... lolz i played the most bc paul was good and our team kept winning.. then we played a group game and i put out all their balls LOLz. they were like.. wtf? hussler! haha, aww well i guess they expected me to really suck, but really, i take a while to warm up my arm - esp when i haven't played in like.. 3 weeks or so. i didn't give phil a chance to play cuz i put out all his balls lolz. dean and kelvin were out to get me.. they were going after mine! grrr.. paul was cool, bc we played together he showed me different/easier ways to play.
there's new imports night at the meadowlands next saturday.. which is like a car show. omg i wanna go! kevin and marty and others are working at it.. but yeah i don't know how i'm gonna get there. O_O paul is going, he was like.. i'll pick you up. did i mention he lives in albany, ny? O-o how sweet lolz, he's going to 6 flags that afternoon and on his way back he sed he could come get me. he's such a sweet guy, and easy to talk to, so yeah, hopefully we can become better friends. we couldn't come up with a animal for him.. oh well. but looook, dean was like, we should do this once a week - a pool tournament v^_^v awww so it's set, i'll always get to see them when we play pool.. awww XD i was like, really, u wanna play with me again (cuz u know, these are guys...) .. but yah, i'm happy. nice night out.. phil drove me home and in the car we were all buggin. i sat across from paul (oh the seating was like.. in those vans that have 2 seats in the middle and 3 in the back.. and in a show jin sat in the middle to the left. i sat there, paul in the right) ... well yeah, i think paul was looking at me, i dunno, i'm sorta interested. just to get to know him better, but who knows? cuz i just met him so yeah.
yes i still love jin, i was thinking about him all night. even when i got my coolatta at dunkin donuts and i stared out to the sky outside, and i was like... i can imagine jin coming up behind me and holding me. -_-;; but u know the moment didn't last long bc kelvin came out to join me. lolz. anyway, i had to drive to lana's house after i got home, so i was mad tired.. driving out at 3am. >_<;; had to drop off her pants that i borrowed.
ahhh i'm listening to shinhwa's just to be with you, and i heard jin's rap. so cute .. lemme jump that boy right now XD
big noses? more buttons
LOL i'm ROFLMAO! ... i'm watching this show called street smarts, and they go, what's this guy known for. and this woman goes, "his big nose, and u know what they say about big noses - big dicks" .. OMG!!!!! LOLZ!!!!!! guess who's face *popped* up in my mind.. HAHA i won't even say ^_^v LOL but lemme mention one thing.. christine.. u still wanna tug his noise? mwahahahaha ROFL.
another button, this is gabriel's:
some things
yes i uploaded the damn song! but it's a damn good song. "Falling In Love" by Shinhwa .. dl before i take it off! right click and save target as..
i made linna a button. yes, and i'm making more... but anyway.
it's like my jin one (motions over to the side of the blog) ... scroll all the way to the bottom to see it. i'm making lez's next... would anyone else like one? i have lots of time with nothing to do ^_^v
shinhwa 4 and yakuza
falling in love. too late for that, i've already fallen. but this song by shinhwa is a must dl. i'm going to upload it so that others can listen... jin has a solo in the 2nd verse. if he ever were to sing that in front of me, in my presence, even if i was in the nosebleed sections of the stadium... i'd cry. wedding march made me swoon, .. this song will make me cry. if i'm close to tears listening to the song at home, how much more if i could hear it live. sigh, i'm filled with so much longing and desire to be with him. can't wait to get this cd... my dad comes home tomorrow so i can order it hopefully tomorrow.
me and linna both love this song... i've been analyzing it on who sings and whatnot. i miss andy though, i listened to just to be with you, and it's so strange to have only eric rapping by himself, i usually hear andy with him or in other parts. :T
btw, why the hell did micki jin or whatever her name is delete toki's post on temptation? there is absolutely no excuse for it, it had something to do with gfics... hers. other people post OT, so i don't see how it went against the rules. she deleted it bc she doesn't like lez? that's just pathetic, grow up and learn to deal.. you don't run a public forum and delete posts just bc you don't like the person. and then supposedly, she sed it's bc silence doesn't post on the forum. Er there are ppl that lurk, and even so, there is always a first time posting. and she doesn't post all the time like other ppl, mebbe one other reason why she's silence. everything is just lame, very immature. fine, i got over the fact that jin is the banner on their forum... not a big deal, i got over it fast bc it after all is just a forum pic. but errrr.. physically going against my toki was just wrong. and how can you not like someone with no reason, there must be a reason. even so, you shouldn't judge someone without knowing them yourself first. and toki didn't even know this girl, the hell is that?
i'll just wait until they do something else, amuse me. i want to see if they'll be stupid enough to do anything else.
i'm planning to go to ny next friday... i want to bring lez and BC too! yay for yakuza hehe.. yano what i should invite dannie from h5t too. i should invite everyone lolz. XD
well i'm gonna stop bloggin cuz i gotta pee really really badly.
loving him
i read over lez's entry about fucking and making love. i pretty much agree.. the only thing is that sometimes i'm so in the mood that i'll want to fuck jin. but not like that... not carelessly. like i sed in another post, i'd take my sweet time with him, i'd go through the whole night just loving him the best that i can. there's no rush, we have all the time we want. i guess that maybe shows my new blog theme, i'm feeling very romantic and soft right now. although most people get the impression that i'm a horny perv, i'm actually a very romantic person. nothing can get to me more than the small loving, considerate gestures, so you see why i love his smile. to others it might not be all that great, but it's my favorite feature on him. yes, even over the abs and chest and arms. ^_^v
i imagine a december night, snow outside as the fire is on, and the blankets are spread on the floor with pillows littered here and there. me and jin are in the middle of that mess.. the fire softening the look of the room, and the room is partially cold and partially hot from the fire. yet, that is us - intense passion. hot and cold, ice and fire. whether it is taken slow and steady, or heated and aggressive, the same emotion is there. love. i long for the day where i wake up and he's beside me... i dream about it every morning.
hehe, i remember i wrote about my wedding.. did i just write my honeymoon night? mebbe i should go into more detail. i think either me or jin would initiate the romantic feel of the room, rose petals would cover the floor.. mebbe some watermelon on the side bc i love watermelon.. not too sweet and still very very juicy. besides it reminds me of drooling over jin. haha. we could have some champagne. i don't know if we'd have music.. but we really wouldn't need it. i guess soft slow jams in the bg but it wouldn't be loud.
hmmm... speaking of loud.. XD hahahaha. would i be loud? i don't know, i think i'd try to suppress the volume of my voice.. only cuz i'd be self concious hehe.
i can be content in just holding him, in each others arms.. embracing, our fingers intertwined... my face resting in the crook of his neck.. soft kisses... tender caresses...
thursday night
who thought i'd end up doing so much stuff tonight? wow, that's what happens when chibi does the plans and everyone doesn't care and goes along with it ^_^v i was gonna go meet up with ray and have ray drive me, but um.. when i went out to unlock my accord - there was a flat tire (my upper left tire!) ... eW!!! what the hell, i didn't drive it at all yesterday and i didn't have a flat on tuesday. jon told me a few things that could've happened.. but still.. freakin sucks. so i got to take the civic.
drove to menlo myself.. i was waiting by the elevator and looked across.. i saw a cute guy ^_^v spikey hair and glasses, he was with 2 other guys. i think they noticed me too... cuz i made eye contact. but urm, i think i might have ruined my chance bc as they started walking towards me i saw jon! so i call out, "jonton!" (nickname) ... and.. jon stopped looked around, saw me and he happened to be right where the guys were walking by.. and jon waved to me came over and kissed me on the cheek. they kinda .. paused and turned to go down the escalator. LOL.. if they were coming over to talk, that's just mad funny it's like a scene from a fic or movie, u go to talk to someone just to see that they're meeting a guy - prolly thought he was my boyfriend. he offered to buy me some haggen daz but the nut i am i declined. we started walking.. met up with roz and myra, then later mel and b. we went to go pierce our ears.. dean, phil, jd, and kelvin showed up. and then soon diane, ray, and jen showed. we pierced our ears... the gun got stuck in roz's ears! she was gripping kelvin's hand so tight.. >_<; so i got scared bc she got her lobes pierced but i was gonna get my cartilage pierced. that hurts more. anyway i was up after roz... but like when i got it, i mean it hurt but not as much as i thought. kelvin was like, that's it? it's done? damn she didn't even flinch. yep that's me.. miss tough girl. *cough* i don't usually show visible pain, i don't like to show pain or whatever. but seriously i didn't think it hurt that bad, it only hurts if u touch it directly and move it. trust me when i say i've been through more physical pain than just an ear piercing.
me and diane got matching ones... we missed the 9:30 show.. so.. we decided to go to the diner. we ate there.. ohhh gotta say something. we got a corner table.. we took up the whole corner of the diner -_-;; but yeah, me and diane got the very corner.. and like, i was talking to jd and he got in next to me. the whole time we're talking he's smiling and making eye contact - cuz i'm the type of person that likes eye contact.. i try to make eye contact with every person i talk to. but anyway, he's eating his mozzarella sticks, my fries.. i'm like.. looking over to my side at him and as he's talking and smiling, i couldn't help but think.. jin. cuz remember when me and christine made the guys shinhwa members, jd was jin. i was like, this could be jin.. i could be eating @ a diner with jin ... sigh. sometimes i feel so hopeless. but anyway! we ate, had fun, went to see the 10:40 show.. haha.. it was funny cuz me and kelvin kept making comments on the movie.. the movie's cars were hot, and the bikes.. and the asian guys were cute ^_________^v the movie was over, we split up and i went home..
omg i swear i was so pumped cuz i was speeding a bit. as what was funny was that there was a guy on a bike and he sorta raced me when i was on 287. LOL it was funny ^_^v ray called me but i had my phone on silent.. well.. i called back but he didn't pick up.
i'm dl'ing shinhwa's new songs right now.. sigh.. i really want andy to come back, it's not shinhwa if it's 5 members! grrr.. the nude photo album.. bad idea. and yeah.. jinz my baby. *pinches his mandoo cheeks* hehe, linna's word XD
fast n furious
actually i didn't see the movie yet, but i'm about to go see it tonight.. at 9:30pm. it's 2h and 20m long man. that's alright.. people sed that the movie didn't really have a plot but the cars were nice, so .. i guess we're watchin the movie for the cars! ^_^v ahhh makes me wanna write a fic with shinhwa n hot about car racing... woooo what do u guys think? haha.. too many fics for me. ^_^v i should get ready soon, they wanna go out to eat dinner but i'm really not too hungry.. mebbe i'll settle for some boba.. but i'd have to go to chinatown for that.
i remember how kelvin i think sed to name movie titles and then make it pornographic. like u know how they twist titles around on playboy channel or whatever... i sed, 'fast n furious' and they all go, but that's already a title on its own! lolz. who would do it fast n furious. oh i know, tony and lita. LOLz lita i dun even know if she reads my blog.. but if she does.. u know its true ^_^v all in the bet. who else? me and jin, nah... i wouldn't say that we're fast n furious, i think we'd like to take our sweet time. well, mebbe the furious part O_o LOLz. oh i'm embarrassing myself.
one more thing..
..before i sleep.
i just went to *someone's* forum ... OMG lo and behold i see a pic of jin right smack in front of me. i normally wouldn't react like this, except that a few others have been talking how this person has been copying things that friends of mine have been doing... i really shouldn't mind at all, the only thing that makes it tolerable is that minu is behind him. but whatever... i'm probably just being really immature about this.
but dammit, who sed she could use a pic of my man and linna's on her forum? LOL jk jk... i'm really amusing all of you out there aren't i? now that i'm reflecting i feel stupid and guilty for blogging about this, like it's gonna put a dent in anything... oh well!
he looks damn good i guess i can't blame her for using the pic. XD my brother jus sed - god forbid someone else likes jin. mwahahaha... that was funny. i wanna be really really.. REALLY selfish... bc he's my hubby dammit. oh yeah, earlier i was saying how incredible he is.. so as i walk up the stairs he says, marry him then! oh oh ... i fully intend to do so XD
btw, i can't wait to read more of nari's fic... linna's friend is a good writer ^_^v very anime-influenced i can see... *high 5*
jin better give me mouth to mouth...
bc i'm about to die with lack of oxygen! linna was kind enough to give me a link to shinhwa's new pics.. OMG i am in heaven. and not to mention that cute smiling pic of him! aw! .... he's such a cutie, shirt off in most of his pics - and i swear even if he was fat i'd love him just as much but dayem those abs help LOLz.
u know what i realized? the color of jinz hair right now, is the color of my hair, black and blonde and some different dark tones.. omg i'll scan a pic. too bad i'm changing my hair color to jin's yo look. sigh, jiniiii looking that hot doesn't help my sexual frustration LOL.
http://animevegeta.hypermart.net
my new blog, bookmark!
u guys like? i like XD ...see, i couldn't stay away from a jin-themed blog for too long.